Virgilio is Listening to the Whispers of the Wind

I grapple everyday with what books to read or what topics to write about. It feels like I am lost in the middle of the sea with only a piece of driftwood to keep me afloat and the only thing to do is just think of how I'm going to get away from my predicament. They're all scattered like seeds and I don’t know which ones to pick. There are too much resources with just enough time to handle them but it seems that my body prefers to take a rest, thus robbing me of precious reading and writing time.

To tell you the truth, I bring a big backpack to work because of the books I stuff in it (my back pack actually has become a butt of joke from my officemates because they said it is a mini version of the Toronto Public Library). I feel insecure without my books. I feel like going to work in my birthday suit without them. I just don’t bring 1 book. Usually I take with me from 2 to 3 books because I have this nasty habit of reading from 2 to 3 books at a time. The problem is I read in snippets. Although this works for me, it doesn't jive well if I am reading the classics, like William Shakespeare or Don Quixote, which require slow reading. You have to masticate them thoroughly for you to be able to get their gist.

Anyway, I'm accumulating books like it’s the end of the world. Because of sheer quantity, I only get to read 20% of them. The other 80% are partially read. Sometimes I read only the 1^st chapter then shift to another book and read it partially again. It is only the dusts that get the most out of them.

It’s some kind of an addiction, that book buying binge. I would love to curb this buying binge, but I find it hard to resist going to second-hand bookstores, where most of the books are cheap, plus there is the allure of rummaging for second hand books. It is the element of surprise. You will never know what you will find there and this is what makes it more appealing and exciting. More often than not, I stumble on very good books, and cheap at that, which if I buy them from regular bookstores will entail sacrificing my week’s allowance for coffee and bagel. Read my blog entry on June 8, 2008 (A slice of heaven in Second Hand bookstores) and find out why I am addicted to buying in Second-hand bookstores .

My books are overflowing. My 2 bookcases are already filled to the brim. In my room alone, books are all over the place. My bedroom resembles the Toronto Public Library. If they can just talk, they could have sworn to high heavens. Good thing they don’t have mouths.

I know what I want to read and write but the problem is that they are too many to handle. This is the cause of the litter, the scatter. I have been analyzing this situation for a long time. I know the solutions to the problem. They all sound simple but I grapple with the aspect of implementation. One solution is to temporarily hold the buying of books until I have read 50% of them. There and then, I will start buying again. Another solution is to schedule, on a regular basis, reading and writing times, but these need discipline (with bulldog tenacity) and the will to do it regularly and consistently.

Anyway, I'm not a quitter. I'll resolve to do something about this pain in the neck. I don’t need to wait for my retirement to start gobbling the books and plunge into writing fulltime. By that time, who knows, I might be engaged in some other interests that may sideline reading and writing.

I hear a voice telling me just do it one at a time, slowly but surely. Take the first step (The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step - my gratitude to Lao Tzu for this quote). The next step may be a struggle but it is getting somewhere already. Then take some more steps. And then some more steps…then some more…and some more… until it becomes second nature to me. It's a step by step effort. It takes time but I'll get there. Who knows, right?

One of these days, I know I will be able to ace the problem. But when is that? Your guess is as good as mine. At least, I have already uprooted the root of the problem. Again, it is just a matter of taking the first step. Again, my heartfelt gratitude to Lao Tzu.

Just do it! Thanks to Nike.

Indeed, the journey to knowledge begins with the first step.